i really need to stop idling on aim. people keep coming out of the woodwork. people removed by years and years.

i guess it's what i get for picking a screen name and sticking with it for all eternity. [12.04.03@00:02]

it's more than a bit surreal to get home just in time to watch cnn:daybreak start.

i should really be asleep. i ache all over, but i'm still perfectly conscious. i should be asleep, and resting up for another long day of moving furniture around so there's more than a coffee table in my livingroom. but no, i'm sitting here typing this, watching daybreak, and waiting for headers to download.

mm. headers. [12.17.03@04:15]

this week has been a rather . . well . . it's not the normal kind of blur. monday and tuesday were kinda lumped together in my brain, because i was conscious for all of one, and unconscious for all of the other. after that, i've been all screwed up. apparently next time someone suggests bowling, i should decide that no, i do not want to partake, because that would result in me being injured in some magical and/or stupid way for a week or two.

all i know is that before monday i was fine, sniffly, but fine; and now it feels like someone grabbed hold of my hand and attempted to seperate it from my torso for about an hour. at first i thought it was some kind of respiratory infection, since it felt roughly like someone had been punching my right lung for an indetermined period. further examining showed that it was moreso the icky connective bits between my arm and torso. not my shoulder, mind, the bits deeper in. if i had a slightly more in-depth knowledge of anatomy, i could describe this better, but . . yeah. it's busted up and bad.

it's weird, because this didn't really hit me untill i woke up on wednesday. i was alright on tuesday, i just felt heavy. still feel heavy, but not as bad as before. the awful deep deep pain didn't really kick in till wednesday. so anyways, somewhere around then i lost track of what day it was completely. i'm just now vaguely getting a better grasp of what day/time it is.

its just weird, i mean, it's been awhile since i've really gotten this fucked up over time. by the time i was sliding through wednesday apparently, i started going on a sleeping schedule of like, being awake, and then realizing nothing is going on because it's the holiday season, and then realizing that no one is around because it's the holiday season, and then just deciding that i'd be better off rolling over and going to sleep, and then waking up several hours and proceeding to stay up until 0500 like, well, like now. i think what's unnerving me the most here is that, well, that it's unnerving me. i don't usually get this screwed up about time, sure, i'll bitch about it, but i'll be fine. it's like i'm worried that i'm going to miss something important, even though i know there's absolutely nothing going on.

well, i guess i should bring up the passing of my sharpie. some time in the second half of 2002, i realized there were these new things called "liquid sharpies". they have since been renamed as "super sharpies" or something equally stupid. anyways, my liquid sharpie was great. the point on it didn't rub down to the general horrible little rounded-over thing you end up with on normal sharpies, and it didn't seem to want to give up as far as ink quality went. it always wrote smoothly, it always dried instantly, it was wonderful.

it's primary job was to label my cdrs. i burn a lot of stuff, because i'm a horrible horrible packrat. it's genetic. my father archives just about everything he's ever touched, resulting in boxes and boxes full of files and paper. i archive data. i've got mst3k episodes to archive, other tv shows to archive, actual work data to archive, movies, anime, misc video, all kinds of things. that results in quite a bit of cds to label, which means i generally go through sharpies rather quickly. so of course, when march-ish rolled around this year, i started getting concerned, as my sharpie had yet to even begin to show signs of giving in.

this continued for months. the visible ink well ran completely dry, and yet it still wrote fine. sure, i could explain this away as it just running off the stored-up ink, but stored-up ink does not last an extra seven months. the only explanation was that it was some kind of horrible undead neverending immortal sharpie. some dark magic was at work here, keeping it churning out ink well past it's expected lifespan.

well, several hundred cdrs later, including cdrs containing every episode of mst3k, it finally gave in. the last thing i wrote with it was the label for the first dvd of futurama. it took going over the writing twice to get it well-colored-in, but it still was able to so. i decided that it would be better to just stop than it would be to attempt to get every last drop of ink out of it, and risk sub-par mark-ness. so i have now enlisted the service of my second liquid sharpie. i have carved into it's cap yesterday's date, and will now proceed to see just how long this one lasts.

what will be the fate of the last sharpie? i plan on giving it a proper burial, though i'm not sure where you go to get a sharpie-sized casket. perhaps some kind of pencil case. oh well. i have encoding and sleeping to do, followed by more disk cleanup tomorrow. and then . . something else! [12.27.03@05:01]

so a few days back, i came up with a great design concept. it had curves in places websites aren't supposed to have curves, and it flowed around them. from both sides. i was cheerfully plugging along, got a whole tech demo of it worked out, and then last night i mocked it up in psp. it all looked like it was coming together untill just now when i started trying to move it into an actual page, and it . . uh . . broke. i accidentally made it so that it was pretty much impossible to transfer into xhtml/css.

furthermore, i made it SO busted that even if i try to clip bits of it off, it still breaks, but in brand new ways.

hooray for breakage! time to go drown my designing sorrows in knights of the old republic. [12.31.03@03:15]