oh bloody hell. every fukkin time i try to resolve things, it backfires. but not because of me. i built the bleedin 30 hours in there for a reason. see, cause then there'd be time for discussion, but nooooooo.. i was given a 'definitive answer' after one hour. i knew there was something wrong with that. [03.04.00@23:37]

lesee 'ere.. uhh.. hi mr mattox! we still dunno why ye started wandering aroond 'ere, but we dunt mind.. 's nice to know where the hits are coming from that i couldnt quite place.. [03.08.00@19:52]

i need to find time. lots and lots of time. it needs to pop up out of nowhere, and it needs to do so rather soon. see, theres all this stuff right now i'd like to do. play tfc, redesign my site, do bunches and bunches of reviews for the new massassi site, call addr and find out if they can help me out with getting everyone on skizzers their own login, go see a movie or two, sleep, play more tfc, sleep some more, finish volume 12, catch up on stuff i should've done months ago, order tickets for the bush concert next week, etc, etc. but no, all i've really got time for are 1)sleep, 2)read, 3)play tfc, 4)review levels. well, at least, thats all i've really done today. course, this was mostly because all day today i've felt leik utter shite.. ah've felt like i had something about the size of a small bean stuck in my throat. also just an overall feeling of blah. makes me feel worse knowing that i'm not consious enough to do the things i'd like to do, such as redesign my site, yet i'm awake enough to do rather well in tfc. i still dont know why i've been doing so well in tfc. kinna amazed no one's tried to recruit me for a clan.

meh, last night i saw some guy get recruited for a clan. it was a pathetic clan. in a game where most players had 30 or so points some guy came in and started talking [in public, not team.] to this other guy saying "I KNOW U MUST B GOOD CUZ U GOT A GOOD SCORE" . he was talking to a guy with a score of 8. i just kinna smiled and nodded. i was too busy actually playing the game to care. from there, the recruiter kept mumbling things like "U DONT RECRUIT PEOPLE. DONT TELL MY BOSS. IM YOUR BOSS. BRING ME GOOD PEOPLE. WE ARE GOOD PLAYER!!!". thats when i gave up, and switched servers. it was just getting too freaky. almost as bad as the server where i kept killing the heavy weapon guys as a scout.. silly newbies.

mm. i think i'll burn dave's copy of anthology tomorrow. he wont be getting volume 12 on there, cause something tells me 12 wont be done for another week or two. i've only got about half of the cd filled at the moment. i'd like to get at least 60 minutes on there.

mm. as for the new design i've got sitting around in my brane. well. the problem i keep running into with it, is that i have a good concept down, but from there in it goes downhill. first theres the issue of how everything i try would like to be right, but just looks.. well.. wrong. from there, tho, i dont know how i'd implement most things such as the hierarchy deal where it shows you what section you're in, and where in the section you are. i like that navigational thing, 's nice. then theres things like how i'd prolly end up using vbscript or wacky invisible stuff that netscape would most likely hate. then again, netscape always hates my site. i really need to fix that. actually, no. i'm still going to stick with the deal that netscape has to make their engine quit doing odd things, and understand css completely. i shouldnt have to change it.

mm. what else should i ramble on about? mmm. how about swanky.org. please wait a moment as i go remove their site from my links. oh, how convenient. they're already gone. see, swanky.org was one of the first sites i remember going to and having my jaw drop. seriously. at first i found that swanky had this rather nice design, quite a bit of content, and then i stumbled upon swankarmy. see, swankarmy.net was essentially a subdivision of swanky.org which was a design oriented community. well over 40 people who all had severely well designed sites. every one of them made my jaw drop for one reason or another. several of them did typography on the side. what they did didnt really matter to me. what really made an impresson was that i realized that stuff that damn cool looking was possible in html. the swankarmy was a source of inspiration for me, gave me something to strive for, since i had planned on joining as soon as i had a worthy site tossed together.

well, after a few months, i realized that swanky was dead. furthermore that they just werent coming back. their site hadnt been updated for well over 6 months, yet all of the swankarmy was still kicking. they werent accepting anyone new, but most of the sites still updated.

then reconstruction started. late last year, november or so, swanky.org went down completely. they left up a message saying that they'd be back eventually. this message replaced the mainpages of all the swanky sites, including the ones that didnt really exist. five months later, swanky.org just kinna showed back up.

and what do we have now? for starters, we have this quote: "we might as well be selling vacuum cleaners". then theres the basic concept. they're making a community again. essentially, they've given every person who owns one of their guestbooks, messageboards, or page redirection deals, a place to vent. this doesnt quite make sense to me, since they essentially already have that over at scribble.nu.. there doesnt seem to be anything special or unique anymore. they've killed off a community that was a major source of inspiration, and that pisses me off.

now, this is where things get interesting. back last summer i realized that i wouldnt be getting in to the swankarmy. it just wasnt coming back, so i had to move on. so, well, we started our own damned community over 'ere. and well, now that i know swankarmy isnt coming back, i feel this obligation to make it myself. and ye' know, i've only got two things holding me back. mm. most of the work on phase two will be done over spring break. if everything goes smoothly, and i can scrounge up enough cash, phase two will probably launch over the summer. and from there things get interesting. [03.18.00@23:24]

i like how people keep dodging the source of problems. furthermore, today we've pieced together more proof behind the paul==future_inphie theory. lets review the evidence so far. 1) on several levels, things that are happening to me previously happened to him. 2) his mp3 collection is essentially my cd collection. 3) i found him as the only resident of alt.foo.bar. [it says something that we're the only two people who'd want to occupy that group for an extended ammount of time.] 4) he's halfway across the world. perfect placement to prevent running in to your past-self, thusly preventing icky paradoxies. and then today, he essentially conjured my name and mailing address out of nowhere. something that would be rather easy to do if he was previously me.

on the ride to school today, when i was far from sanity, i broke out this crackpot chain of events. k'vn told them to me later, and i took notes, cause i knew it'd be an innersting thing to mumble aboot for a bit.. essentially, a few years in the future [5-10], i go into the past for no! apparent! reason! i decide to settle down at a college in austrailia. weather wouldnt be that much of a switch. from there i accidentally run into myself online, and trippy things occur. in the process i change history to make it a bit better for myself, by being my own mentor. something tells me that with my luck, i'd just end up screwing it all up worse.

timetravel is bad^tm, but hey, i get a bunch of cd's out of it. [03.29.00@21:48]