[ mood | worried ]
from joshua harris' boy meets girl:
"Terms don't define our lives; our lives define our terms."
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NOTICE: this is not a freak-out session
i'll be fine. and i already am... to a point.
but i might need to go away for a few days. that way things can be put back into perspective... and i can try and snuff out most of my unwanted feelings that have developed on this matter.
it's not easy... i have to try so hard to do things that i wish and pray to come naturally. but for whatever reason, that's not how it is. probably to develop character.... ^.^
i always need more character than i have. always.
so yeah. i don't want you to have to reign in your comments or actions or thoughts... that's part of who you are, and my thoughts or feelings shouldn't be a factor in the matter. you know this... and i know you know this...
but sometimes i forget.
and i expect people to act a certain way just to make things easier on me.
that's selfish and ridiculous.
so, the appropriate action for the situation at hand is this: me to back away from that which is prompting me to comprimise who i want to be in the long haul, for what i want to do in the present.
so that is what i shall do. tenetively. i've noticed, as of late, that i have wonderful intentions and weak "follow-throughs."
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i wish i had wonderful intentions and the resolve to follow-through on them. i have the strength to accomplish what i set out to achieve... i just lack any sense of resolve. :(
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