Dear Jeff,

For the past four and one half years, we have received next to nothing from you other than a few hundred dollars and a letter or two every year explaining that you are still unemployed, or trying to get a business off the ground.  Unfortunately, there has been little contact with your children, too.  We have all been patient and flexible in our own ways.  It has been extremely hurtful for Connor and Bryn.  It has been hurtful to my relationship with Rick.  I have been reluctant to use the legal system.  Your decision to move to California without informing your children (or me) boggles my mind.  I cannot begin to justify or rationalize your actions.  Your decision to purchase an expensive home in San Clemente, creating a large mortgage and property tax burden, not to mention a long commute, when you have so many other responsibilities, also confuses me.  BUT, then to inform us that because of your decision to assume the responsibility for your new home you cannot afford child support is inexcusable.  We, in our own ways, have run out of patience.

Rick and I will respond to the issues raised in your letter:

You still have not provided the information that we have legal rights to obtain from you.  We assume that actual pay stubs showing your monthly gross income and deductions and a recent tax form will not be coming from you. (Copies are available from your accountant and your employer and it has been several months.)

Again you list only unsubstantiated numbers that have nothing to do with child support.  
We all can make a list and say, “Well, see, nothing left over for child support.”  That is why the law takes it out first.

We know that this feels like private information but it is the law; we provide tax forms and pay stubs every year to our other co-parent.

In regard to our own situation, you or your attorney will get our income and expense declaration and tax forms upon request.  Rick makes less than you do and still pays what the law provides for in child support, and on top of that, is willing to spend money for visits, phone calls, and gifts, and supports your children.  

The fact is, since you will not work with us, not going to court is lose/lose.

We are sorry that you threaten to quit your job.  Quitting your job to avoid child support takes you from Family Court to being a criminal and jail time.  Just the fact that you would choose to quit your job and be unable to support any of your children tells us that court is needed here.

You say you have moved back to California to be reasonable and try to help.  By not contacting us or letting us know that you had moved, it certainly appeared that you were hiding from your children and co-parent.  You are now earning an excellent salary and still claiming you cannot afford child support because of your house obligations.  This is not reasonable.

Your last question of what we will accept.  Start by paying the low end of your estimate of $1500 a month now, the first of April (your real estate dealings do not put off child support).  This good faith effort will go a long way when our attorneys write up an agreement or we go to court.

Believe me, we have no desire to hurt you or your family.  We have gone out of our way to give you time to do the right thing.  Ideally, we would have an open, cooperative co-parenting relationship, making decisions with Connor and Bryn’s best interest in mind.  Since your move to Texas, co-parenting has disintegrated and you have chosen to let go of your relationship with the kids.  At this point, we want only what is fair for our family and fair does not equal supporting you by your unwillingness to support Connor and Bryn.

In sum, we believe you have left us no option but to summon your records from your employer and you to Court.

Bev